My Testimony..... (This is my Personal Testimony of what Jesus Christ did in MY life)

I have shared my Testimony before in class and on video, but I realized that I have never wrote about it on
my blog.  I wanted to share my Testimony with each of you.  I grew up Catholic and went to a catholic grade school for 8 years.  I went to church two times a week and grew up hearing about Jesus.  I knew the story, and knew that he died for mankind and I knew his story about the Virgin Birth, Death, and Resurrection.  I went to confession and did everything that I was told to do.  I was just going through the motions and walking in the footsteps.  I started to rebel at a young age because I wanted my parents to be proud of me.  I desperately was seeking attention and approval from my parents.  Being the only girl in our family, I was seeking my Fathers approval.  My dad was in the Military and traveled alot, and we never had the chance to truly connect.  We would connect through sports, particularly in tennis.  I would look forward to learning Tennis because this was time for just My dad and I.  My father would tell me that I did good in tennis practice, and I cherished this time because this was the only time I would hear that I did good.  Inside though I was starved for attention and didn't know how to speak up.  I didn't have a relationship with Jesus and I didn't have one with my dad.  I started to lie about small things and cover small things up.  I wanted to "appear" perfect and I wanted to hear that I was doing a good job.  I realized that I was pretty good at putting on a "facade" and faking people out.  I was hurting on the inside, but appeared to be fearless on the outside.  I had a tough exterior to where I never showed emotion or pain.  As I got older it got worse.  I was crying out for more attention, and I wasn't getting it.  I was desperately wanting a connection with my Father and we were farther apart.  I started to disappoint him so I spiraled out of control trying to get his attention even more.  I became very rebellious to where my grades started to suffer, I skipped school, and started hanging out with the wrong crowd.  After high school I received a Tennis Scholarship that paid for my schooling, housing, and food.  The red carpet was literally laid out for me at this college, and my dad was so proud of me and pushed it so much on me, that I couldn't help but say yes.  He was so proud that I received a scholarship, that I couldn't stand to tell him that I wasn't ready to go right into college, but I did it for him.  Mentally I wasn't mature enough to handle college at that time because I wasn't in my right mind.  I was still in alot of pain and wanted to deal with it, but instead I just bottled it up and pressed forward.  In the first semester of college I got kicked out of school and lost my Tennis Scholarship.  I couldn't bring myself to tell my family that I lost my Tennis scholarship, so I put on a "facade" and hid it from them. I never let them know that I got kicked out of school.  I got a full time job and got an apartment with a roommate.  Things went from bad to worse.  I now was partying alot, and out every night of the week.  I started to experiment with drugs and alcohol.  One year later my parents found out about my scholarship and were extremely hurt and angry that I lied to them.  I then got a place on my own and went to another college for Massage Therapy.  I was now going to school and living alone, but I was still out of control.  There was one night that I came face to face with God, and I will never forget it.

I was alone in my apartment and I had drugs at the time, and I was watching T.V and I started to have a drug overdose.  I wasn't able to breathe and felt my heart coming out of my chest.  I started to get really hot and felt like I was going to faint.  I grabbed my chest and started to panic.  I knew I had taken too much, and that I was overdosing.  I crawled over to my bed and started to cry out.  I had been in pain for so long that I had reached my maximum.  I now was going to die with a broken heart and never have a chance to make things right.  The thought of having my family find me like this broke my heart even more. I was ashamed of how bad things got and how bad I let things happen.  I didn't call anyone because I was embarrassed.  I started to cry out to God for the first time in my life. I said out loud: "God if you are real, I need you right now.  Show yourself to me.  I don't want to die like this, I want a second chance.  Please, if I am able to wake up the tomorrow, you have my word that I will NEVER touch this stuff again."  I then laid down in a fetal position and cried myself to sleep.  By the grace of God, I woke up the next day and didn't overdose.  I knew that God had heard my prayer and given me a second chance.  I have kept my promise to God and NEVER touched anything again.

I started seeking Jesus and learning about what he did for me.  I discovered a Christian Church that started to give me a hunger for Jesus.  I started making new friends, and cut off my old friends.  I started to change my ways of living, and God started to work on my heart.  I was working in a law office at this time and met some amazing people.  It was a Friday and we closed at 4:00pm.  I got done with my work early and had 20 minutes to spend, so I decided to research things online.  Deep in my heart I always regretted what I did back in college with my Tennis Scholarship.  I realized that I blew an amazing opportunity and I wished I could have it back and make it right.  I started to contact colleges in my area and just email coaches and explain my background in tennis and tell them a little about myself.  My thought process was: "If I at least do something, then I know that I have done everything I could."  I had a few coaches email me back and let me know that tryouts were already over. There was one email I received from a Coach that said I could come out and play someone and he would watch me.  I was so excited because the tennis door was back open and I now had hope.  My mother was down visiting me and I told her that I was going to tryout at a college but I didn't want her to tell my dad or brothers because I didn't want to let them down again if nothing happened.  I dropped my mom off at a Barnes & Nobles that day so I could go and try out at this college. I played another girl from a Tennis Academy and absolutely got beat.  I think I only got one or two games off of her.  I was so embarrassed because here I wasted this coaches time, and another opportunity.  I held back tears inside because I was so angry at myself.  I know that I could of done better, but I choked.  I got my bag and started to leave and I was walking past the coaches office.  I wasn't going to stop in his office because I already knew the answer, but I at least wanted to Thank him for the opportunity.  So I stopped it and held my tears back so I could Thank Him for watching me.  I told him I had an off day and apologized and for some reason we just started talking.  I explained to him what happened with my old tennis scholarship, and how much I regretted it and I even told him about my dad and how much I let him down.  So here I was telling this coach my personal story and was 100% honest with him.  We shook hands and he said he had more people to watch and he would let me know.  Weeks went by and I didn't  hear anything.  I then received an email that it was between me and another girl.  The other girl had amazing tennis ability, but he liked how mature I was and saw a leader in me.  He said he would make a decision and let me know by the end of the week.  I woke up on Saturday to an email that said:  "After careful consideration I have decided to offer the scholarship to you because I feel you could lead the team and we need a mature player on the team."  I was crying, clapping, and screaming all at the same time.  I couldn't believe it!! I got a second Tennis Scholarship at a better college and did it on my own.  I was the oldest on the team, and back in college again for a second time.  I became Team Captain and became a leader on the team.  We had an amazing tennis program with coaches that know the game inside and out.  I was able to reshape my tennis game and improve on my strokes.  We had a really strong team.  We actually got a spot to compete in Arizona at Nationals.  We flew to Arizona to compete in Nationals for 5 days.  We actually ended up winning Nationals by one point and became The 2008 National Champions!!!  We received a big trophy, received medals, and had a ring ceremony to where we received National Champion Rings.  I called my family that day crying and left message on the machine that I was a National Tennis Champion and that I finally did it!!!  My father was SO proud of me, he couldn't believe it!!!  So now I was able to achieve his approval and it felt so good.

I was then done with college and was working full time.  I had several failed relationships that were not healthy, so I was still struggling with finding a stable partner.  I was so badly hurt from my previous relationships that I was done with men.  I was tired of failed relationships and just wanted to focus on myself for once.  I started to talk to a man (that is now my husband :) ) I started to talk to Carlos through a girlfriend on my tennis team.  I find out that they are Cousins and he saw my picture through facebook at our team banquet.  He thought I was pretty and started to ask about me.  I was 100% honest with Carlos and told him that I wasn't looking to date anyone and that we could just talk as friends.  He was on board with that and respected what I had to say.  We became best friends and talked everyday via email/text/phone/computer/etc.  He was an amazing listener and I noticed he was different from the rest.  We actually began dating and shortly after became engaged.  We started to grow as a couple towards Jesus and started going to church.  Carlos became Saved and accepted Jesus as his personal Savior.  We then got baptized together and were on fire for God.  We were doing good but we were still living in Sin because we were intimate together.  We found out that I was pregnant and this took us by surprise.  I was so scared again about disappointing my dad and didn't want to tell my family.  I went into deep depression and just wanted my life back the way it was.  I didn't want Carlos and I didn't want this baby.  I then stopped going to church because I felt dirty because I wasn't married and here I was knocked up.  I started researching information about abortions.  I thought this was my only option and I wanted to go through with it.  I battled with depression for a LONG time and wanted to die.  I had three Godly Women praying for me and I knew it was Jesus fighting for the life of my child.  There was such a spiritual battle going on, and here my baby and I were in the middle of it.  I ended up keeping my child and not get an abortion.   My husband and I got married when I was around 3 months pregnant and it was rough in the beginning because I struggled for so long with the pregnancy.  I started to accept my pregnancy around 6 months and got excited about it.  We were blessed with a healthy beautiful boy that was 9lbs. I was so happy to meet our little boy and so happy that I did not rob him of his life.  I had a stronger relationship with God and knew that God had a purpose and plan for this child.  I fell in love with God even more because I knew God loved our little boy when I didn't.  My husband and I truly grew in our faith walk with Jesus and we decided to do things Gods way.  We were both feet in and excited to fully follow God.


We got more involved with the church and actually started leading our own class and started Our ministry online.  My blog started reaching the world to where I could share the Gospel of Jesus with others.  We then had another baby and God blessed us with a beautiful little girl who was 8lbs.  We have our little family of 4 that God has blessed us with and we are doing it Gods way!!!

I could share ALOT more of everything that God has done in our lives, but I just wanted to share a few here on this post.  So God is real and he will reveal himself when you ask him to.  He wants us to draw near to him and wants an intimate relationship with us.  I can now say that I have fallen in love with Jesus and his story is real to me.  I can see Gods hand and blessing over our family and I can see Gods hand over me in my past.  God was with my through all of my pain waiting on me to invite him in my heart.  He waited on me so patiently and was so lovingly.  I now make it a priority to share my story with others and share the gospel of Jesus with others so they are not in the dark, like I was.  I don't want anyone to struggle in secret like I did.  It is ok if you don't have a good relationship with your earthly father.  I am now completely healed because I know I have a Heavenly Father that loves me and is proud of me and accepts me fully.  God has healed up all of my wounds from childhood and Jesus daily gives me his strength to endure trials and struggles. I know I am NEVER alone, and the same can apply to you!!! This love that I talk about it is FREE and Open to EVERYONE!! Jesus died for me and for YOU!!! His grace is enough for you!!! When you are weak He is strong!!! Call on Jesus like I did, and see that he is waiting on you and loves you!!!  I hope you are able to see the Love of Jesus through my testimony and that my testimony reaches many for the glory of Jesus Christ!!!