I wanted to take the time to blog about my current state of mind at 34 years old. I feel like I have learned so much in the past few months, and am continuing to do so. My biggest struggle has currently been the "feeling of losing control." This is something that I have always struggled with. I want to make sure everyone is ok/safe/protected/etc. I think being a Mother comes with the territory, but there is a way to have it at a "safe distance." I need to continually remind myself DAILY that God is God, and that I am NOT. I have to remind myself that he is in control and that my family/surroundings were given to me because of HIS Goodness and the fact that he is a Good Father! I have received these wonderful gifts/blessings and it is my responsibility/ my job, to take care of what God has blessed me with. This context can be put into so many different areas of life, and mean many different things to each person. This can contain to your home/health/job/vehicle/family/pets/location/etc. When you look at each and every area of your life and what is around you, it is a constant reminder that God freely gives/and we are truly blessed.
In the past few weeks I have been having a constant battle internally/mentally with myself that I am still trying to come out on the other side with. I am reminded that no matter what happens in my life, that I NEED to have GODS BLESSING AT ALL COST!!! There are many times we put ourselves in situations and can bring certain trials/tribulations on ourselves. I believe we go through certain things because we each have dark areas in our lives, and God wants the darkness to get exposed, so we can have light in ALL areas of our lives. Recently I was reminded that I was once again trying to "control" my little environment a little too much and got carried away. I had to go through something to remind myself that I continue to circle around the same issue and have not been learning from it.
( I can truly relate with what the Israelites struggled with when they were walking around in the wilderness) I saw a certain darkness in my life that needed to have the light of Jesus shed on. I thank God for showing me this and honestly it has brought me even closer to him. I now more than ever want to have GODS BLESSING no matter what!! The best way I can describe it is like this: God gives us Free Will because he is not a forceful God. He leads us gently, he does not shove us. When we accept Jesus as Lord in our lives and he comes into our heart, the change starts from the inside out. We have the Holy Spirit (our helper) on the inside of us. When we open his Word/ Go to Church we are able to learn and be ministered to. The Lord will speak to us about the condition of our heart. When we are a disciple of Christ we are told to deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow him. This means living like Jesus. This means not taking delight in living in sin. We were bought with the precious blood of Jesus and he paid it all for us. We have to keep him FIRST in everything and have him BEFORE anyone else in our lives. When we take matters into our own hands, or put others before him, we slowly start to step out from under the umbrella of Gods blessing. When we start stepping away from his blessing it opens us up to receive attacks from the enemy. We are not protected/ we are not properly dressed (Armor Of God In Ephesians) and begin to feel the spiritual attacks. It is our duty to find the problem area, repent, and run back under Gods Blessing.
This is the best way that I can describe what I have been going through recently. I saw certain areas in my life that made me step away from Gods Blessing. I thank him for these areas because I am seeing that no matter what I encounter, what happens to me, that I want to remain fixed/stable under Gods Blessing. This means the words I use to others, how I act, what I think, what I do, and how I spend my time. I cannot truly rely on my feelings because that is not what the Word talks about.
Another big thing that happened in our lives is that we changed churches. We were at our last church for over 10 years and were very involved. My Husband and I even served/taught classes as leaders in our past church. Our children grew up in the nurseries, and we made a lot of wonderful friendships. It is scary to essentially "start over." We felt the Lord wanting us to change churches and we spent time in prayer and visited churches in our local area. We made a pact for our family that our new church would have to be the right fit for everyone in our family (kids included) and if we didn't agree, then we would keep looking. We have been at our new church now for a few months and I must say it is nice to have fresh wind from the Holy Spirit. We know that this is where we are supposed to be, and this is where we will continue to grow as fellow believers. The point of me sharing this is because you need to be plugged in somewhere where you are growing spiritually. If it doesn't challenge or change you, then you need to start praying about it. Attending church isn't just a (checkmark) attendance to make yourself feel better. It is a hospital!! It is a place where broken people meet to worship the Perfect Savior/ learn the Word Of God/ and be prayed for and encouraged by other believers. So I want to encourage you to be some place where you can grow healthy as a believer in the Body Of Christ.
I will be 35 years old in March and I honestly believe that will be my BEST year. I am constantly being refined and changing habits daily. I wanted to make a short little list of things that I have learned and helped me a long the way. This may seem silly to you, if anything you will have a nice chuckle :)
- Write things down! There have been so many times when the Holy Spirit will speak to me and if I don't write it down right away, then that thought is gone.
- Spend quiet time in the morning with Jesus! The first 20 minute car ride to work people next to me will see me talking to myself in my car because that is my prayer time with the Lord.
- Remind yourself of what you have been blessed with! Name it, and Claim It!! I am talking from your health/family/job/car/home/pets/neighborhood/breathe in your lungs/ being able to pay utilities/that all your needs are met, etc
- It is NOT important to be right! Pursue Peace At ALL Cost, and Remain UNDER Gods Blessing. When having an argument, pursue peace. Let go of anger, and let go of grudges.
- Put down the technology and make some memories! Turn off the Tv, put down your phone, log off the computer and spend time reading a book, having fun with your family, play hide and seek, have a dance party, go on a walk. (Yes these are things I do with my family, and I have no shame in my game)
- When someone is in pain or struggling, pray for them! There is no time like the present. Be kind in secret. It is truly an award when you can bless someone and not have to broadcast it to others or all over social media. Remember we live for an audience of One, and he sees it ALL!!!
In the past few weeks I have been having a constant battle internally/mentally with myself that I am still trying to come out on the other side with. I am reminded that no matter what happens in my life, that I NEED to have GODS BLESSING AT ALL COST!!! There are many times we put ourselves in situations and can bring certain trials/tribulations on ourselves. I believe we go through certain things because we each have dark areas in our lives, and God wants the darkness to get exposed, so we can have light in ALL areas of our lives. Recently I was reminded that I was once again trying to "control" my little environment a little too much and got carried away. I had to go through something to remind myself that I continue to circle around the same issue and have not been learning from it.
( I can truly relate with what the Israelites struggled with when they were walking around in the wilderness) I saw a certain darkness in my life that needed to have the light of Jesus shed on. I thank God for showing me this and honestly it has brought me even closer to him. I now more than ever want to have GODS BLESSING no matter what!! The best way I can describe it is like this: God gives us Free Will because he is not a forceful God. He leads us gently, he does not shove us. When we accept Jesus as Lord in our lives and he comes into our heart, the change starts from the inside out. We have the Holy Spirit (our helper) on the inside of us. When we open his Word/ Go to Church we are able to learn and be ministered to. The Lord will speak to us about the condition of our heart. When we are a disciple of Christ we are told to deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow him. This means living like Jesus. This means not taking delight in living in sin. We were bought with the precious blood of Jesus and he paid it all for us. We have to keep him FIRST in everything and have him BEFORE anyone else in our lives. When we take matters into our own hands, or put others before him, we slowly start to step out from under the umbrella of Gods blessing. When we start stepping away from his blessing it opens us up to receive attacks from the enemy. We are not protected/ we are not properly dressed (Armor Of God In Ephesians) and begin to feel the spiritual attacks. It is our duty to find the problem area, repent, and run back under Gods Blessing.
This is the best way that I can describe what I have been going through recently. I saw certain areas in my life that made me step away from Gods Blessing. I thank him for these areas because I am seeing that no matter what I encounter, what happens to me, that I want to remain fixed/stable under Gods Blessing. This means the words I use to others, how I act, what I think, what I do, and how I spend my time. I cannot truly rely on my feelings because that is not what the Word talks about.
Another big thing that happened in our lives is that we changed churches. We were at our last church for over 10 years and were very involved. My Husband and I even served/taught classes as leaders in our past church. Our children grew up in the nurseries, and we made a lot of wonderful friendships. It is scary to essentially "start over." We felt the Lord wanting us to change churches and we spent time in prayer and visited churches in our local area. We made a pact for our family that our new church would have to be the right fit for everyone in our family (kids included) and if we didn't agree, then we would keep looking. We have been at our new church now for a few months and I must say it is nice to have fresh wind from the Holy Spirit. We know that this is where we are supposed to be, and this is where we will continue to grow as fellow believers. The point of me sharing this is because you need to be plugged in somewhere where you are growing spiritually. If it doesn't challenge or change you, then you need to start praying about it. Attending church isn't just a (checkmark) attendance to make yourself feel better. It is a hospital!! It is a place where broken people meet to worship the Perfect Savior/ learn the Word Of God/ and be prayed for and encouraged by other believers. So I want to encourage you to be some place where you can grow healthy as a believer in the Body Of Christ.
I will be 35 years old in March and I honestly believe that will be my BEST year. I am constantly being refined and changing habits daily. I wanted to make a short little list of things that I have learned and helped me a long the way. This may seem silly to you, if anything you will have a nice chuckle :)
- Write things down! There have been so many times when the Holy Spirit will speak to me and if I don't write it down right away, then that thought is gone.
- Spend quiet time in the morning with Jesus! The first 20 minute car ride to work people next to me will see me talking to myself in my car because that is my prayer time with the Lord.
- Remind yourself of what you have been blessed with! Name it, and Claim It!! I am talking from your health/family/job/car/home/pets/neighborhood/breathe in your lungs/ being able to pay utilities/that all your needs are met, etc
- It is NOT important to be right! Pursue Peace At ALL Cost, and Remain UNDER Gods Blessing. When having an argument, pursue peace. Let go of anger, and let go of grudges.
- Put down the technology and make some memories! Turn off the Tv, put down your phone, log off the computer and spend time reading a book, having fun with your family, play hide and seek, have a dance party, go on a walk. (Yes these are things I do with my family, and I have no shame in my game)
- When someone is in pain or struggling, pray for them! There is no time like the present. Be kind in secret. It is truly an award when you can bless someone and not have to broadcast it to others or all over social media. Remember we live for an audience of One, and he sees it ALL!!!
